Broken
by subaruxkamui4ever
Summary: Ichigo Kurosaki x Uryuu Ishida. Slightly yaoi, mostly sweet. Uryuu wrestles with the decision of whether or not to say goodbye to Ichigo forever, in order to regain his Quincy powers. Meanwhile, Ichigo struggles with the hollow within. Complete. IchiIshi


Title:Broken

Author: Evil Day

Series: BLEACH

Pairing: IchigoxUryuu

Rating: G

Summary: Uryuu wrestles with the decision of whether or not to cut Ichigo out of his life forever.

* * *

"_You must swear that, henceforth, you will have nothing to do with the Shinigami…"_

"…_Swear it."_

Pushing his glasses up, Uryuu frowned and concentrated harder. He ignored the rushing of water around his feet and lifted his arm, clenching his teeth together and willing the lost bow to life.

It never came, and after a few hollow moments, he let his arm fall back down to his side gracelessly. He should have known better. But then, he also should have guessed that his father would try something like this. Uryuu thought that maybe he was lying, that there really was no way to reclaim his broken Quincy powers. Wouldn't his grandfather have shared this with him? He would have, Uryuu thought, and it would have been right where he stood now, in the secluded place where his Grandfather had taught him all the Quincy secrets so long ago.

But why did his father own the Quincy cross, and not he himself?

"There's no way to know for sure," he mumbled to himself. There was no one around to hear him, and in the silence he lost himself in thought, feeling the spray of the river on his arms and brushing carelessly at the tiny droplets that collected slowly on his pale skin. Sunlight was all around at this late afternoon hour, and it reflected up from the churning surface of the river and caught in the lenses of his glasses.

Uryuu hadn't told a soul about what had transpired between he and his father the previous night. He wanted so badly to convince himself that no one would even notice if he disappeared from the face of the earth, and perhaps a few months prior, that might have indeed been the case. But after deciding to follow Ichigo and the others into Soul Society, he knew it couldn't be helped. They would notice, and Ichigo especially would most likely run at the mouth as loudly as possible until Uryuu offered up some sort of explanation. Ichigo was like that.

Uryuu felt the corners of his mouth turning upward at the thought. As much as he didn't want to admit it, it was nice to be missed, even though it hadn't actually happened yet. He hadn't even decided if it was worth it or not. His father would hold him to his word, should Uryuu choose to give it to him.

"But all this thinking is getting me nowhere. If I can just…just do it by myself, then nothing will have to change. Ichigo…"

Uryuu clenched his fist, and the curves of his nails slowly made their impressions on his palms. Ichigo needed help. There was more going on in that thick skull of his than he let on. Uryuu knew; he could sense the darkness creeping in quickly, snaking it's tendrils into Ichigo's fierce reiatsu and staining it with a tinge of fear and something else, something that felt like pure insanity. It was close now, and at such a time.

He shook off everything, his fears, his worries, and anything he might have felt and instead focused intensely on pulling what little spirit particles he could and gathering them into his open hand. Holding it out in front of him, he watched as two or three small flecks of light swirled a few times in a circle as they hovered in the air, and then vanished.

It was hopeless. He could only help Ichigo if he was strong, and his last hope for strength was the very one that threatened to tear he and Ichigo apart forever.

He sensed a flash of energy just then and paused, muscles tense, until he realized that there was only one person in the whole world whose reiatsu could be so overwhelmingly garish and unbridled. Uryuu waited, perched on his rock in the middle of the river, and watched the area of the forest he knew Ichigo was hiding behind.

Nothing at all happened, and after a minute or so, Uryuu shook his head slowly and turned away slightly, averting his eyes.

"Come out from behind that tree, Kurosaki."

There was a rustling of leaves and grass, and then Ichigo stepped out onto the riverbank with his hands in his pockets, looking away sullenly.

"It's that obvious?"

Uryuu finally turned to face him, and he pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose before answering. "Your reiatsu is, amazingly, the only thing louder than your mouth."

"Whatever." Ichigo kicked a rock with his toe, watching the tiny stone tumble over and over again until it was swept away by the blue water. He lifted his gaze to Uryuu's own blue eyes, willing his face to remain steady. "I need to talk to you."

"All right. Talk." Uryuu remained on his rock, listening to how he sounded. Why did he always give Ichigo that flat, monotonous tone? He never meant to…he just couldn't remember a time when he had sounded any different.

"Come over here! I'm serious, you know." Ichigo crossed his arms. "I can't talk to you when you're in the middle of the river!" He paused, staring at Uryuu with a confused face. "What the hell are you doing out there, anyway? I figured you'd be out here training, not screwing around in the water." He grinned at that, his strawberry hair and wide smile shining like the sun itself, the same sun that beat down on Uryuu so cruelly.

"I _was_ training…well…trying to. I still can't collect enough spirit particles to form a decent arrow." It sounded much more simple than it really was.

"Oh. Well…don't worry. I mean…I'm sure there's a way for you to find your powers again. We'll just keep trying…right?"

Uryuu said nothing to that and instead stepped to the edge of the rock, looking for a steady place on the riverbank to jump towards. The rock he stood on was just far enough from the shore to necessitate a small jump from one to the other. He pushed off with his right leg and landed easily on the ground with his left, but the grass on the edge was deceptive and he tripped slightly, thinking the ground to be higher than it actually was.

Ichigo was there in an instant and caught Uryuu's hand before he slipped any further. Gripping tightly, Uryuu caught his balance before realizing that he was still holding onto Ichigo's hand, and he quickly released his hold and stood upright.

"…Thanks."

"Yeah…are you busy?"

Uryuu shook his head. "Not at all. What's going on?"

Instead of talking, Ichigo surprisingly said nothing, and he sat down on the grass that covered the ground and looked up expectantly at Uryuu, clearly hoping he might do the same. Uryuu decided to follow his lead, and he sat down on the ground, crossing his legs stiffly and watching Ichigo in silence.

Almost instantly, Uryuu knew what was wrong, and the fact that it was clearly visible shocked him, but he clamped down on his initial reaction and looked at Ichigo coolly. In the outer corner of his left eye, visible traces of dark energy had collected and manifested themselves physically. It looked as though someone had taken a single drop of the darkest ink and let it fall into clear, still water. Black snakes and swirls that reflected the emptiest void trailed out over Ichigo's left eye, and the longest stretch of it was nearing the soft brown of his iris.

Uryuu pretended not to notice, and instead patiently focused his attention at Ichigo's shoes. He wondered whether or not he ought to be afraid, but then decided against it. Ichigo would kill himself before ever hurting a companion, no questions asked. It was just his way.

"I'm gonna tell you something, but you can't tell anyone else, all right. I'm only telling you because…well, you're the least likely to tell anyone if they ask. But, I need someone to know."

"All right." Uryuu's voice held no interest, but he tried to sound comforting in a way. He gave Ichigo his full attention, clearing his face of his own stresses and fears and appearing as receptive as possible. For a moment, he thought about stopping Ichigo and telling him that he already knew, but perhaps Ichigo had something more to say. Either way, Uryuu wanted to know how Ichigo felt about himself, and so he kept silent and gave Ichigo an encouraging smile, hoping it didn't look horribly odd on his features.

Playing idly with his shoelaces, Ichigo spoke to the ground, unsure of himself. "I'm leaving."

Uryuu remained motionless, letting the information sink in. Ichigo didn't bring his eyes up, and instead continued to talk to his hands.

"There's something wrong…with me. I can't control it, but if I let it go any further…it might destroy me. Half of me is…is…"

"…A hollow?"

Ichigo sat up quickly. "How did you know?"

Uryuu held Ichigo's eyes with a serious look. "It's permeating your reiatsu."

"Oh…" Ichigo let his eyes wander over to the river.

"Well, that, and of course, Urahara. He told everyone."

"What!" Ichigo clenched his fists and growled. "I swear, that guy…" A mental image formed in his mind of Urahara, eyes shaded by his hat, waving a fan over his face to hide the carefree grin that well concealed his inner workings. "When?"

Uryuu couldn't help the corners of his mouth that turned upward of their own accord. "While we were waiting for you to arrive the night he opened the gate to Soul Society." He rested his hands on his knees and caught Ichigo's stare. "It's not important…but where are you going?"

"…I can't say. I'm not really even sure if it's a good idea. I just know that I need help, and there's only one place I can get that."

"From someone like you?"

Ichigo nodded.

In that moment, Uryuu realized that the two of them were exactly the same. They were both losing their power, and had to risk everything in order to get it back. It didn't matter if they were called Shinigami, or Quincy, or even Hollow. Neither of them were prepared to face the rest of their days the way they were in that moment. They were broken, endlessly wandering in the absence of fate, of control over their own lives.

"I understand."

Ichigo raised his orange eyebrows in relief, and he placed his hands on the dirt behind him and leaned back, smiling openly at Uryuu. "Thanks."

Uryuu shook his head. "No…you have to promise me something first."

"Yeah? Okay, what?"

Pushing his glasses up, Uryuu maintained his eye contact with Ichigo, holding the other boy's gaze with a sharp seriousness. "Promise me that you'll come back."

The smile on Ichigo's face drifted away slightly as the ramifications of Uryuu's request hit him hard in the gut. Uryuu knew the chances that lay before Ichigo and the percentage of failure, most likely better than Ichigo himself did.

"We…we need you. I need you…to come back. All right?"

"…All right. I promise."

Nodding his head, Uryuu pushed himself off the ground and stood upright, watching the river crash and tumble forward furiously. "Then do whatever you have to do. No matter what it is. No matter what you are or become in the future. As long as you come back and fight by our side again." He looked back down at Ichigo, still seated on the ground. "And I'll do the same."

Ichigo stood up as well, and stuck his hand out in front of Uryuu. "It's a deal," he said with a typically confident and worry free Ichigo-style grin. Uryuu couldn't help but smile back, if only a bit more shy in his delivery. He could never be as sure or strong as Ichigo, but he didn't have to be. Not if Ichigo was there to fill that place for him.

Uryuu took Ichigo's hand and they shook on it. "Deal."

The trepidation that had filled Ichigo's presence disappeared suddenly, and he stretched out his arms casually and turned to face the trees. "Ahhh…well, I gotta get back home."

"We both do…" Uryuu began walking without turning to look and see if Ichigo was going to follow. He knew better than that.

"Hey! Wait up!" Ichigo ran up to Uryuu and allowed his footsteps to match the other boy's. "You're just gonna leave me out here?"

Uryuu turned his face to the side, trying his best to mask the smile that broke free across his features. "Well, try to keep up, then. I suppose we can go together." He wove his way in and out of the trees, Ichigo in tow, and allowed himself to enjoy the easy flow of the moment, free of doubt and fear. Times like these were becoming few and far between, and it was most likely the last of it's kind.


End file.
